The midnight magician

For the past few nights my youngest so has woken and tried to go for a wander at around midnight. 

This of course isn’t an issue just go tuck him back into bed. The issue comes with he has been giving me before putting back to bed. 

 the last two nights when I’ve gone to him he’s give me a ten pence coin. I have a few questions 

  • How did you get the coin ?
  • Do you have a money tree in your bed ?
  • Are you a magician?

The reason behind the questions is unless the other sleeping children are feeding you coins there’s no way of you getting them. 

Do I have the next Derren brown? 

I want to know where they are appearing from I might be rich and not know it ha ha

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Large family holidays?

So for me and the wife holidays for the past 10 years have been let’s say non existent, once in a static caravan to be exact.

As we have a larger than average family I’ve been exploring what can be done on a budget. From trips abroad to camping, weekend breaks to weeklong holidays and there’s only one pattern that keeps appearing cost.

For example a trip to Disney land every kids dream, I’d have to work every Saturday and Sunday to afford that which means no time at home and missing the little things that are really important in the kids growing up.

But then on the other scale do you really need somewhere so exciting to have fun and relax.

So camping can cost a fortune for all the right equipment. Then there’s the pitch fuel cost and setting up of your campsite which can all be stressful.

So I looked at it further and in detail I looked at second hand equipment which would save money for other things, this leads me on trailer tents I’d love to know people’s experiences and adventures the do and donts and if it’s worth me investing in one ????

Vehicle craziness

Well let’s start off with something that in theory is supposed to be simple,  buying a new car.

A small bit of idiotic history makes life getting a new car a bit difficult/ impossible, especially when you have a large family that requires 7 seats.

The budget for car, insurance, tax and fuel for the month is limited and creates frustration with the wife as nothing goes simple and car costs just increase, but this time I’m a man with a plan and should get me in the good books.

So my old high performance engine Vauxhall zafira (lemon car )was nothing but trouble and extortion to run, (although very fun to drive and worth every second behind the wheel) was due for a change I decided to opt for a car more fuel economic but first I had to get in touch with My bad credit finance company to go and have a look at the possibility of swapping my car. They provisionally agree so I go down (1 hours drive away) I get there with the wife and kids and get put in a room with a few toys for kids, at this point I’m thinking that this isn’t too bad kids are occupied and I’m looking at cars so after having a brew and a chat  with the sales guy over affordability, he goes and gets a few sets of keys 3 to be exact, and say let’s go look at cars in your price bracket. So we did a very nice vw, grand c-max and a Chevrolet all nice looking motors. But I’m looking at practicality so the Chevy is straight out the window. The vw was too high mileage for my liking so that left the c-max so I took it for a test drive all in all not a bad car so thought yes I’ll have this.

So we all went inside, “let’s talk price” the dealer said “the finance plan works out 368 per month”, whoa there….. erm well that’s just not doable it’s not in my budget intact it’s 140 above my budget did you not listen to what I said. “I’ll go have a word with the manager ” he said.

20 minutes later, kids getting restless and bored, wife getting frustrated he reappears,  he says “we’ve got one other car but it’s not ready”,

Well let’s go look and get this over with I see the car it’s not bad nice mileage good mpg and oooo tow bar ( in thinking camping, trailer tents, caravans, Car trailers go karts for the boys etc etc) “I’ll take it ” I said so we go do the paperwork and the cars will be ready in a few days brill, three hours we had been there kids acting like apes,  wife stressing , me thinking I wish I never bothered let’s get home and get relaxing it’s been stressful.

So a few days go by I get the call the cars ready. “I’ll be there tomorrow”, so my plan get up and get on the road and be there for opening. The wife’s plan ” you need to take the boys for hair cut before the go back to school”.

ok so new plan get the boys hair cut before 9.30 be there an hour after opening, sweet. Off to the barbers we go we walk in there’s one guy cutting hair and six waiting.

“It’s an hours wait sorry” said the barber. What do I do do I wait or go home and get the wrath of the wife. I stay put watching people come and go the impatient ones and the cue reducing 10 minutes at a time. It then dawns on me when it’s our turn next there’s only an hour on the meter what do I do stay and hope I don’t get a ticket or leave and move the car to go to the back of the cue as the boys are too young to leave.

So I decide to risk it and stay as I I don’t want to wait another hour that’s just time away from the new car. All the time thinking hurry up stop chatting get snipping shave Everyone’s  hair to the wood just make it quick 10 minutes go by and my boys still not in the chair I’m now nearly pacing frantically.

The relief of the words “who’s next” was music to my ears my lad in the chair short back and sides trimmed on top 4 minutes tops, why had the six infront of me taken so long. Out the door we ran praying for no ticket, today was my lucky day.

So back to the real story.

So we get home the girls are ready threw them in the car and onto the motorway we go an hour and we are there.

we see the dealer he says I’ll get the car. He brings it round……. “where the **** is my tow bar where has it gone” I said.

So off he pops to check 10 minutes go by we’re all sat in the blazing hot sun the wife’s going mad thinking  we wasted time and fuel to come all this way.

The dealer comes saying “it was removed due to rust and not passing the 120 point check” I should have stood my ground but I saw the wife giving my that look so  I just accepted it and drove away with my nice fresh clean fuel economic car feeling like a new man.

So I get home and have a browse on the old inter web looking for tow bar bits. Did you know you can’t just buy the neck hitch bit thing???? You’ve got to buy the lot. Angry is is not the word right now.

So a couple of days go by I think oh  better renew my insurance as the 5 days free is running out in the next day,  so I ring up my old insurance from my old car to change details. An hour on hold later and I get some obnoxious woman on the phone telling me “because I’ve payed 10 months and have no direct debits left it’s going to cost me £286 to change the car.”

“excuse me what did you just say……  how much was that ”

my temper went from 0-198 in 0.12 seconds “are you kidding are you ripping me off I’ve already paid you 1300 this year and you want more for a slower diesel car”

i hung the phone up I was in no mood for thieves I looked at the wife what do I do £30 pound to my name and she just looks and sighs.

to be continued…

The first chapter

So a little about about this blog for my post.

Im a working man, the bread maker if you wish to call it that. I just wish to write about my life for an entertainment purpose a bit of comedy value and an insight into a crazy large family living on what I class as the breadline

so I hope you enjoy reading, please comment with feedback so I can improve.

Thank you

elliott